Title: Small Things Author: XochiLuvr E-mail: xochiluvr@surfacing.com Category: MA, H, MSR Spoilers: The pilot for certain, two secondary characters in the show (unnamed) are mentioned in a negative context. Post-Pilot smut... You can close your jaw now. You'll catch flies. Rating: NC-17 - No kiddies. Archiving: Ask and ye shall receive. Usually. Summary: One man's trash is his partner's treasure - himself. Feedback: Sonny, feedback is the greatest thing in the world; except for a nice MLT - Mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich - when the Mutton is nice and lean, and the tomato's ripe. They're so perky. I love that. Disclaimer: Ooh, You are so big, so absolutely huge - wait, I already used these. Hmm... "Disclaimer - The X-Files belongs to Morgan and Wong... just a second. Sorry, back. Apparently, the X-Files belongs to CC and 1013, along with Fox." Notes: Small Things stands alone and is not a story in the "Virtutes" universe. One line comes from Dana Scully in the pilot (and I actually managed to avoid the obvious one!). You'll know it's not mine. Jemirah was good enough to remind me that there's a blank year between the Pilot and Deep Throat. Canon says to ignore the original date on the pilot, but Musings of a Cigarette-Smoking Man apparently uses the original date and not the canon one, making it canon after it was excommunicated or decanonized or only the Pope knows what. Wha'ever. I say tack an AU on and be done with it. More notes at end. ----- Fox Mulder was hardly a poster boy for the U.S. government, but he was a Federal Agent. His job? Investigate what no one else would, or even could. He excelled at everything he did, from capturing serial killers to chasing after extraterrestrial biological entities. Over the years, he and his talents had been lent to nearly every investigative department in the Bureau. Whenever anyone was unable to crack an important case on their own, they called Mulder; his efforts were almost always successful. Most agents with his tenure and solve rate were at least S.A.C.s of their own units or field offices, but Mulder never played well with others. Since being officially assigned to the X-Files he'd only benefited from the mandatory promotions and pay increases. The administration feared him and his unorthodox techniques. Most of his fellow agents, jealous of his abilities, made jokes at his expense and referred to him as "Spooky." Sadly, it was probably one of the nicer things they said about him. He worked alone, calling in backup only when absolutely necessary. His office was in the basement of the Hoover Building and nearly every other agent looked down on him, literally and figuratively. He was without a doubt one of the most effective agents in the FBI, but he was also the most unwanted. Imagine his surprise when word came down that he was being assigned a partner, the first he'd had in years. The memo only stated that his new partner, a female agent by the name of Dana Scully, would arrive in his office the beginning of the next week. Some research gave him a bit more information. Dana Katherine Scully was a brilliant scientist. A medical doctor specializing in pathology, she also possessed a Master's in Physics. Near the top of her class at Quantico and currently teaching there. A by-the-book agent, considered by many to be straight-laced and reserved. Good looking and not considered anti-social, she was, however, referred to as an "Ice Queen." Very little actual field work but methodical and analytical; on the fast track for promotion, like Mulder himself had been before the X- files. The next week inevitably came and Dana Scully walked into his office. Her voice was strong, with the hint of a lisp that made it all the more enchanting. She was a beauty; young, long hair, bright face, lithe body. She was short, but her suit flaunted her strong legs capped by too-high heels. Her hands and neck had light smatterings of freckles, but careful application of makeup had masked most of those on her face. Before he could catch himself he wondered if there were many more hidden beneath her clothes. Meeting, working with and spending so much time with a woman like Scully would be any man's dream, but Mulder wasn't just any man. He worried she would be the catalyst in closing the X-Files. Worse, he feared that she would somehow learn his secret. The first meeting and the following days were tense, but after the events in the "plausible state of Oregon," they came to a quick understanding as to the mechanics of their working relationship. The beginning was awkward, as most beginnings are, but everything quickly fell into place. Bellefleur was a learning experience for them both. She learned he was unorthodox; he learned she was more than simply a spy. She found him to be caring and empathic. A gentleman who wouldn't take advantage of a scantily-clad woman in distress, but also one with a great deal of emotional baggage. He got to see her nearly naked and got a definitive answer to the "freckle question" that resurfaced every time he saw a new one exposed. She was beautiful in a quiet, petite, well-proportioned way. As a partner, he felt he could trust her. As a woman, she frightened him. A week after Oregon they were assigned to a new case supplementing the crew on a stakeout. --- "Who's the guy we're watching?" Scully asked. "An ambassador suspected of severely beating the prostitutes he hooks up with," Mulder replied. "Pedro Vargas Demigo, the Junior Brazilian Ambassador to the United States. We can't arrest him, but we can have him deported and we can also inform whichever country they ship him to next that he can't be trusted. No criminal record in his home country that we know of, but we did find out he used to be a full ambassador to a smaller country until the mysterious disappearance of his first wife." "Oh, joy," was Scully's only comment. "Hey, be happy you'll get to sleep in your own bed tonight. Most of our cases will be out of town," he replied. "This is your first stakeout, isn't it?" "Yes. Any tips?" "Showing up in a designer suit in this kind of neighborhood will get you made faster than wearing a Bureau jacket and waving a gun." "Thanks." --- For the next few months, that was the routine. Cases all over the country interspersed with lots of paperwork and a few cases around town, assisting other departments when asked. Together nine hours a day, five days a week in the office and considerably more when on a case. Mulder's video collection quadrupled in size and a few tapes - in particular one featuring a redheaded woman - had to be replaced due to excessive wear. Stakeouts were spent sharing memories or funny anecdotes. Mulder did his best to keep those times lighthearted, but eventually honesty got in his way. One night they were parked in the middle of a wheat field in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania. Strange lights and crop circles had been reported in Amish Country and they had been called in to investigate. --- After reading the file, Scully wondered how the Pennsylvania Dutch could have contacted the FBI. "What, Mulder, carrier pigeon?" "Actually, Scully, The Pennsylvania Dutch didn't really come from Holland. Most came by way of Germany and Switzerland. 'Deutsch' of course means 'German,' but the English-speaking people heard 'Dutch.' The name stuck." She decided to leave it be. The night sky was too beautiful and they were getting overtime. Instead of arguing, she changed the subject: "How come I never hear about or see you going on a date? Don't you like women?" Mulder's face reddened under the full moon, but he rallied quickly. "I like women fine. I love women. I'm just... married to my work, I guess. "Besides," he deadpanned. "Who'd want to date Spooky the Alien Chaser?" "Come on, you don't give yourself nearly enough credit," she said before letting her voice take on a joking tone. "You're handsome, athletic, you have a good paying job with full medical benefits... what's not to love?" "Please. I'm a freak and an outcast. Nobody who values their next promotion has anything to do with me," he countered. "I've gotten looks from women in the building, but as soon as they get the word from their coworkers, it's like I don't exist. Do you know how it feels to be totally ignored?" "The painter, Grant Woods, said that 'apathy is worse than hatred.'" He found it hard not to laugh. "Exactly. Pick any department in the Hoover and you'll find five guys who are better looking than me and ten with better career prospects. God knows how many more who are better liked and more respected." "Oh, Mulder," Scully sighed. "You have no clue how many women would love to be with you." "Name one," Mulder countered. Scully stammered. "I... uh, I would." "Nice try. I'm sure you only put up with me so you can get a good recommendation when a better assignment comes along." "Jesus!" Scully's voice echoed loudly in the car. "I just wasn't prepared for the question. You're such a bastard sometimes, you know that? You think better offers haven't already come along? They have - I turned them down flat." Softening her voice she continued, reaching to the steering wheel to cover his hand with one of her own. "Granted, most of the women in the building are secretaries and haven't experienced what I have as an agent, but we still talk. You're one of the things we talk about." He tried to pull his hand away, but she held on tightly. "Yeah, so?" He didn't mean to sound quite so defensive. Scully turned in her seat. "They wonder why you've never asked any of them out. They're always asking me to put in a good word." That got his attention. "So why haven't you?" "Maybe I wanted first crack," she smiled, squeezing his hand. "Besides, if I don't know how good you are in the sack, how could I answer all their questions?" "Thank you... I think." "Seriously, at first I didn't know enough about you and since then I haven't thought you'd be comfortable with me sharing details about your life with anyone." "Mmm, I wouldn't be," he agreed. "Wouldn't be what?" she joked, "Good in bed or comfortable with me talking about it?" His response surprised her. He sat straight up in his seat and she could feel how tightly his hand gripped the steering wheel. The other hand grasped for the door handle and before she could react he pulled free and was out of the car. She followed him as quickly as her heels could carry her through the dewy field. She stopped when she saw him sitting on the damp ground, head in hands. "Mulder?" "Go away, Scully." "Not until you tell me what just happened." "Fine, you want to talk, let's talk," he spat. "What kind of lover do you think I am?" She thought for a moment, then spoke. "Caring and gentle. Very tactile. You'd make sure your partner was satisfied." "I'd be pathetic. I don't want to discuss this, Scully. You're better off..." he trailed. "Better off what?" He wouldn't answer. "I'm not letting this go, Mulder." She continued hounding him for several minutes, pressing on and asking more questions. Why he felt he wasn't a good lover, what made him think so, what he was basing his comparison on. Finally, he'd had enough. "Goddammit!" he roared, getting to his feet and walking towards her. He stopped inches away, close enough that even in the fading moonlight she could see the tracks tears had made running down his cheeks. Leaning still closer, he screamed in her face. "I have a tiny dick! Are you fucking happy now?" With that he stormed back to the car, leaving a shocked Scully in his wake. --- She gave him a while to recover then slowly returned to the car, collecting herself as she walked. They sat in silence for several minutes. Mulder stared at the bright stars and contemplated his miserable existence until Scully interrupted his thoughts. "It's not the size of the boat, Mulder-" Even he had to laugh. "Thanks. Even if it is a lie." "I've never lied to you and I'm not about to start now. It really isn't. It's sharing and companionship and feeling one another with nothing between you, physically or emotionally." "That's all well and good for a married couple, but where does that leave me?" "Where do you think it leaves you?" she asked. Mulder sighed. "Here's a hypothetical scenario for you: picture a college student. Let's call him William. He's been after a girl for the better part of a year, since he first met her in a graduate study group. She finally accepts his advances and they start dating. A few months pass and they get to the "big night." His roommate's gone home for the weekend and they have almost three days to spend together. He's got soft music, candles and clean sheets. That's about as romantic as a college kid gets, don't you think?" "Sounds nice, Mulder. Go on." "So he takes her to a nice restaurant, wines and dines her, takes her dancing. They get back to his place, they kiss and pet. They're both in the moment. They move to the bedroom, take their clothes off, turn to each other, and..." he stops. "Yes?" "She laughed - laughs, I mean. The guy is standing there naked as the day he was born and the woman he cares for, also naked, is doubled over from laughing so hard. She runs into the bathroom with her clothes and leaves as soon as she can. William spends his last two years of college being called "Willy" by all the girls on campus. What would you do?" "Hypothetically?" "Of course." "I'd fucking kill the bitch and plead temporary sanity." "Sounds like a plan, but it still doesn't solve the problem." Scully knew where this was going. "And what's the problem?" "That I'm, well, ill-equipped for sex." She didn't mean to let it happen, but a rueful laugh escaped her. She gripped his arm before he could bolt again. "Ill-equipped? How many fingers do you have? Does your tongue work? Can you maintain an erection?" "Ten, yes, and yes. I don't see where-" "Then you're equipped just fine. So again, what's the problem?" "Stop playing with me, Scully, you know damn we- mmrph!" Mulder never got a chance to finish his sentence; Scully's tongue was too deep in his mouth for him to speak. He did gurgle lightly, before he realized exactly what was happening. Mulder was a smart man and the learning curve wasn't too difficult. He caught on quickly. When they finally came up for air, Scully spoke first. "Remember what I said, Mulder? The answers are there, you just have to know where to look. You don't need to look any further than right here. When we get back to the hotel you are going to get the loving of a lifetime." "Huuu..." Mulder hadn't caught his breath yet. "What about the Bureau?" "They're not invited." The only paranormal activity in Amish Country that night was the roar of an engine and the squeal of tires as a vehicle kicked up a cloud of dust when it moved from dirt road to paved highway at high speed. --- When they reached the hotel they went to their respective rooms to prepare. Mulder showered, shaved and dressed. He spent the next half hour raiding the poorly stocked mini-bar for hard liquor. The room's phone rang and when he picked it up, all he heard was "I'll be there in two minutes," followed by a click and a dial tone. When Scully entered the room, she was devoid of makeup and dressed in silk pajamas with matching fluffy slippers. He was shaking so badly he had to grab the edge of the dresser to keep standing. Mulder had never seen anything more perfect in his entire life: She'd brought her suitcase with her. She dropped it, pulled the sheets and blankets down and pushed him until he sat on the bed, then noticed the collection of small plastic bottles from the mini-bar. "Started without me?" He answered, looking sheepish. "Not really. Figured I'd try to get my courage out of a bottle - or several." "Did it help?" "Not really, but my toes tingle." She smiled. "Well," she said, kicking off her slippers and unbuttoning the first two buttons of her pajama top. "Let's see if we can't make the rest of you feel that way." She pushed him further into bed and straddled his legs. She purred in his ear and raked her nails over his t-shirt. "Ever dream of us like this?" "Nearly every night," he gasped out as her hands roamed, now under his shirt. She slipped her tongue back into his mouth and they traded a series of passionate kisses. Just as she promised, his whole body was on fire from her ministrations, but he was mortified when he realized she was sitting fully on his legs. It seemed she still couldn't feel his erection through the cotton sweats. His panic resurfaced and he tried to move out from under her. She misunderstood his intentions and, instead of letting him go, pulled her top over her head and tossed it away. "Whoa, slow down, we've got all night." "No, no, nonono." Seeing his clenched eyelids and finally understanding, she rolled off of him and whispered assurances into his ear. Retrieving her top from the floor, she moved to the side of the bed, wrapped her arms around him and waited as he cried. "It's not... I don't," he murmured. "Mulder," she asked carefully, "Are you a virgin?" "Not - not technically, no. I dated an agent - my former partner, ironically enough. We slept together once and she transferred to a foreign detail a week later." "What happened?" "She acted very sweet and caring, faked an orgasm and the next Friday I found a mock-up of a wanted bulletin on my desk with my face on it that read, 'Have you seen this man's penis? If so, please contact the FBI,' yadda yadda." "Ahh," she said. "Now I know what the real problem is. It's not the size of your penis, it's the awful women you've been with. When you're on the job you're strong, self- assured. When you have to deal with a woman on a more personal level though, you have no self-confidence and the women you've trusted have preyed on that. It's easily fixed. Come here." She pulled him to his feet and shucked her top again. He forced himself to look at her face. "What are you doing?" "I'm going to replace a bad memory with a good one. We're going to re-enact your first time naked with a woman. This time we're going to do it right. Strip." By the time he'd come to a decision and removed his shirt, she was standing naked, hands on her hips. He balked again. "I don't think this is a good-" "Shh. It's a great idea," she said, kneeling before him and grasping the waistband of his sweats. "How much do you know about a woman's body?" "Not much, I guess; just the basics." "Ok. Let me give you a few facts. First, in the average woman's vagina, most of the channel doesn't have much in the way of nerve receptors. Actually, only the first couple of inches are stimulated during intercourse. "Second, a woman gets most of her sexual stimulation from the manipulation of her clitoris. Do you know where that is?" "Yes." "Good. Third, the average vagina is only five or six inches deep." "Huh," he mumbled as she lightly caressed him through his sweatpants; maybe she had noticed it, after all. "Do you want to know the most important thing about my body?" "Hmm?" "I'm smaller than the average woman." With that, she pulled down his pants and inhaled his erection. Her tongue flicked all the way to the base of his cock and his mind switched off. He moaned and it was all he could do to remain standing. His hands moved involuntarily to her shoulder and the back of her head. When she finally pulled back, she grinned up at him and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand before speaking. "Has anyone ever done that for you?" Still breathing heavily, he managed to huff out a negative. "So it was a first for both of us." "What do you mean?" "You've never gotten a blow job and I've never been able to get all of a guy into my mouth. Ready for more?" "I don't think I could handle much more." "We've got time," she smiled, and went back down on him. --- Mulder wasn't sure what he was feeling. His fear hadn't entirely deserted him - too many years with a massive inferiority complex and deep feelings of rejection will do that to a man - however, that fear was no longer the overriding emotion. He felt love and acceptance, of course, but at that exact moment in time all he could concentrate on was feeling the hot, wet mouth surrounding his entire length and the silky-rough tongue that kept swirling and twirling around his cock. Before he could warn her, before he even realized what was happening himself, he exploded in her mouth. To his even greater astonishment she swallowed everything before pulling her mouth from him. --- She frowned a little and swallowed a second time before smiling again. "Another first for us both." It took Mulder a bit before he could speak. "You've never-" "Nope. Can't say I like the taste, so you shouldn't expect me to do that every time, but it was worth it. The look on your face, the sense of power. It was fun." She stood back up, pushed him back on the bed and went to get a glass of water - he was still processing her "every time" comment. By the time she returned from the bathroom, he was once again capable of complete sentences. "Enjoying yourself so far?" she asked, one arm again angled against her hip, one foot coyly resting on its toes behind the other as she leaned against the wall. It was a pose that would make any pin-up model jealous as hell. "More than you could imagine," he gushed, then paused. "I, I'd like to do that for you." It seemed now Scully was in new territory. Her arm dropped and she stood up straight. "I've never. No-one's ever ask-" "I am." He patted the space beside him on the bed for emphasis. She hesitated while considering her options, then moved onto the bed, spreading her legs as she rolled on her back. "What's good for the gander, I guess." Mulder was entranced. Deceptively long, curvaceous legs led up to a small patch of close-cropped, auburn colored fur. Her shaved lips were swollen and pink, a sharp contrast to the pale skin surrounding them. He moved in for a closer look, licking his lips, exhaling slowly, and watched as her whole body shuddered in response to his breath on her skin. "Come on, the anticipation is killing me," she growled. "Do something!" He had no intention of spending the entire evening being led around like a puppy. For the first time in his life he was with a woman who wouldn't laugh at him, who wanted nothing more than to share in his happiness. There was no way he was going to pass up a chance to return the favor. He knew it would be the absolute last thing she'd expect, so he tickled the soles of her feet and laughed as she kicked and squealed. His voice came low and gruff: "It's my turn now." --- For Mulder, the next hour went by in a blur. He licked and sucked and nibbled every patch of skin he could reach. He was gentle in some places, ferocious in others. Her scent overwhelmed him, sweat and perfume and the lush smell of arousal. Her flavors were intoxicating, heady and bittersweet and unlike anything he'd ever experienced. Afterwards, when she finally pushed him away, all he could remember was the feel of her pulsing in his mouth and the way she moaned and screamed his name over and over again. Mulder moved up the bed and turned on his side, resting his head on one hand, just watching the flush recede from her body as she closed her eyes and hummed a secret song. He wasn't sure, but he thought it might be an oldies tune. Three Dog Night, perhaps. While she rested, he went to the bathroom and picked up a hand towel and moistened a washcloth with warm water. Returning to the bed, he wiped her thighs and stomach. She shuddered in tiny aftershocks as he cleaned her. --- It was several minutes and another cup of water before she blushed and whispered, "Thank you." "Which part are you thanking me for?" he grinned as he kneeled on the bed, passing her the towel so she could wipe the cooling sweat from her face and neck. "All of it. I've never had an orgasm like that before. I wanted to show you how it felt to be loved, but somehow the teacher became the student." Inside, Mulder was suffused with pride, but he tried to remain modest. "I guess it's just a night of firsts." She smiled back at him and said, "Just give me a bit to recover. There's one more first on tonight's agenda." Mulder was confused. "I'm pretty sure what comes next, but I don't see how it'll be a first for either of us." "I said I was smaller than the average woman, remember? You get the privilege of being the first man to fit inside me completely." Mulder was silent but his cock, at rest from the long lull in activity, jumped in response. Scully laughed at the sight. "Hey, you just calm down a second. I said give me a minute!" He was hopelessly addicted and they hadn't even gotten to the main event. He resumed his former position by her side in the bed and the next several minutes were spent wrapped together, basking in their shared warmth. Snuggle-time ended abruptly when she rolled on top of him. "You don't mind, do you?" "By all means, go right ahead," he joked to mask his remaining fears. She rose up higher on her knees, scooted forward and fumbled a bit before they were aligned. As she pushed down and took the whole of him in one thrust, they groaned in unison. Finally, she leaned down, rested her arms on his chest and looked into his eyes. Neither moved. --- "Mmmm," she murmured. "Another first, Mulder." He was only capable of grunting in response. "I've never liked being on top before." Another grunt. She bit his nose gently and he convulsed beneath her. "Too uncomfortable. My cervix would get pounded and I'd get nauseous." She grinned at his lack of response. "Are you listening to me?" Her smile widened and she tensed, causing her vagina to contract around him. "YES!" he bellowed and pushed up at her, clasping her breasts in his hands and pulling as if he could somehow increase the contact where their bodies joined. She took the hint, pushed herself onto her arms and began to slowly move in all directions. Forward and back, up and down, gradually increasing circles. She wanted it to last as long as possible. So did Mulder, but it was all he could do to stay conscious. The sensations were unbelievable - almost painfully good. As he hadn't yet learned any self-control, it was sheer providence that he'd already had one orgasm and a long cool-down period. Still, it didn't take long for him to get worked into another frenzy. Realizing this, Scully removed one of his hands from her chest and pressed two of his fingers to the tender folds at the top of her vagina. "Circles. Gently," she breathed out. He tugged her nipple and pushed his hips at her as forcefully as he could from his restricted position. He knew he was probably putting too much pressure on her clit, but it felt like she was sucking the life out of him through his balls in the most pleasurable way imaginable. He was having difficulty multitasking to that great an extent. It took mere minutes for them both to reach their peak. Mulder went over first, with Scully tumbling seconds later from his frenetic manipulations. Afterward, they lay together shuddering, stuck to one another with sweat, sperm and vaginal lubrication. It took a while, but this time Scully was the first to move. She kissed him deeply and raised her head. "Mmm. Mulder?" "Uhn?" She slapped his arm lightly. "Wake up. Where's the towel?" "Uhh. You kicked it off the edge of the bed, I think. Why?" "Ever heard of the 'wet spot?' If you don't find something for me to wipe up this mess with, you're going to _be_ the wet spot." He chuckled weakly, grabbed his t-shirt from the side of the bed and handed it up to her. "I hope it's not your favorite shirt," she teased, already wiping their bodies as clean as possible. "Is now." --- She laughed and tossed the shirt across the room before rolling back over, straddling his leg and resting her head on his chest. "I like you. Mind if I keep you around for a while?" He smiled and kissed her tangled, tousled hair, then closed his eyes and let his head fall back onto the pillow. "Just so long as I fit in." "Mmm. You're a perfect fit." "S' good t'hear," he mumbled, sleep overtaking him quickly. "In fact," she whispered, nibbling his earlobe. "I think tomorrow we can find at least one more first that you're perfectly equipped for." He ignored the invitation, grunted a "Tha's nice," and began to snore. Scully smiled and rolled off him, turned out the light and pulled the covers back over their cooling bodies. She kissed his cheek and whispered "I love you" in his ear. She looked out into the dark room and spoke louder this time: "Who says men aren't all alike?" ----- End. ----- Well, folks, I can't help it; I have to use the other quote. As Scully says in the pilot: "Better than you expected, or better than you hoped?" Additional Notes: First off: well-hung thanks to my betas Marybeth (mimic117) and especially Jemirah, whom I tied down and forced to read like 30 drafts. Kinky, huh? Second: No, Jemirah, "sanity" was not a typo. :-P Jemirah also put together a perfect dust jacket for this story - you can find it on my site. This fic was started in early December. DECEMBER!!! I make turtles look like speed demons. The original idea was for this to have been an exact opposite of my parody "Musings...", but it somehow evolved into an M&S first time story somewhat in the same vein as "Engendered". Actually, I used all the elements I planned to use in the parody, just in a different context. Hopefully it's a new take on an old theme in X-fic. Some old cliches and a rebellion against a particularly -large- one. I hope you enjoyed the ride. Let me know at xochiluvr@surfacing.com. I have size issues: the bigger my feedback folder is, the more confident I am about starting in on the next piece. It's puny right now. You'll help me rise to the challenge, right? XL