Title: NEW Process of Elimination 1 of 1 Author: mimic117 Email: mimic117@yahoo.com Rating: Considering the subject matter, gotta be NC-17 Category: S,H,V, smut smut smut Spoilers: Not a one, unless you don't know that Mulder & Scully have worked together for a long time. So, what planet are you from? Summary: Variety is the spice of life. Keywords: MSR, Mulder POV Disclaimer: ~smirking~ sheee yeah, right! And I don't own Altoids or Pop Rocks, either. Big surprise, huh? Beta Thanks: To the dearest, darlingest, sweetest Bitch in all of BetaLand. Cindy, Cindy, Cindy! You can't tell, but the dog and I are doing the Wave. Dedication: This story was written at the express request (read: pestering) of a bunch of deviant homies on the Lost & Found Message Board. This goes out to cratkinson, Nell, Jessie, Sdani, IL, XL, and anyone else who's still in therapy after reading that particular thread. The evidence is gone now, but I stand by my innocence. Thanks to everyone for all the help with my ~ahem~ research. And even bigger thanks to Kim for not shutting us down when we get out of control. We'll try to behave from now on. ~lol~ Damn. I was hoping I could say that with a straight face. Feedback: Well, if you're not too flabbergasted by the time you get done, let me know what you thought at mimic117@yahoo.com. Just keep in mind that all feedback is printed out and saved to be endlessly worshipped, but it's still the L&F gang's fault. Visit all my stories at http://surfacing.com/mimic117/ Your depravity levels may vary. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Process of Elimination 1 of 1 by mimic117 "Scully, what do you have in your mouth?" I suppose that's a pretty stupid question for a man to be asking when he's lying naked on a bed with a beautiful, equally naked, woman crouched over his lap. But lately, Scully's been experimenting with our sex lives. It's almost as if she has a little checklist of positions, perversions, and possibilities that she's trying to work through. I never quite know what to expect from her these days. After the unfortunate mishap with the hair scrunchy, I want to know what to brace myself for. She shifts whatever it is into her cheek and blows a warm puff of mint-scented breath at me. "Altoids, Mulder. Nothing but an ordinary peppermint breath freshener. Why do you ask?" I'm not the least bit fooled by her air of innocence. There's one thing I've learned during years of working side by side -- Scully is at her most devious when she's trying to look innocent. I can feel the nervous sweat starting to form on my forehead. "Just curious as to why you're sucking on candy when you said you were going to suck on me." Gee, that would have sounded really butch if my voice hadn't squeaked right in the middle. I must be more uptight than I thought. I've been in a state of readiness ever since Scully told me she wanted to try something new tonight. Her hopes are going to deflate pretty rapidly if I can't convince my imagination that everything is okay. This is Scully, after all. I trust her implicitly. Don't I?! Shooting me a wicked little grin that starts the sweat popping out on the rest of my body, she lowers her head and takes my rigid flesh in her mouth. Ahhhh. That's more like it. I love Scully's mouth. It's warm, and soft, damp, with just the lightest scratch of teeth on my -- Wait a minute. That's a bit warmer than usual. It's almost... tingly. Yeah. Really warm and tingly. And there's something rubbing against me besides her tongue. Ooh. Almost too warm. What the hell...? Oh. Right. That peppermint she has in her mouth. The Altoids. Damn. That's a really weird sensation. Every place she touches with that thing leaves a brief sparkle of heat behind. I'm trying very hard not to hump her face, but my hips seem to have a mind of their own. "Scu... Scully... How...? What...?" As eloquent as Olivier, Muldork. I'm sure Kenneth Branagh is shaking right now. I wonder if the peppermint oil in that thing is making my neurons short out. There's a sudden rush of cool air as Scully lets me slip from her mouth a slurpy pop. The air contacting my skin is almost as disconcerting as the heat from the mint. When she blows a soft breath across the tip of my cock, I almost levitate off the bed. "You like that, Mulder?" Huh? Oh. Question. She asked a question. Like? What's not to like? I'm planning to tell her that, with an appropriately sexy leer, but all that comes out is "uuuhhh" My mouth is probably hanging open like one of my goldfish floating belly-up, too. I'll bet that looks *real* sexy. Uh oh. Re-engage brain cells. She's saying something. "...saw this suggested on one of those 'Spice Up Your Sex Life' message boards online." ~lick~ "There were several different ideas to try." ~lick~ "Everything from Cognac to Pop Rocks to mentholyptus cough drops." ~lick~ She's alternating between talking and licking straight up the side of my shaft with her mint-flavored tongue. The alternating heat and cold are sending my thermostat into overdrive. I wonder if victims of spontaneous combustion were having sex at the time and their partners were just too embarrassed to say anything afterward. We may get to find out in the next few minutes, because I'm either going to burst into flames or come just from the novelty of what she's doing, and at this point, I don't care which it is. "I thought the Pop Rocks would be fun, but as soon as I put some in my mouth, I started to laugh." ~lick~ "They were popping and pinging all over the place. It tickled my tongue." ~lick~ "I didn't think that would set the right mood, so I decided to give the mints a try. I'm sorry, Mulder. Did you say something?" Possibly. But even if I could remember what it was, it wouldn't make sense anymore. I'd really like to ask why she's choosing this particular moment to impart all this undoubtedly fascinating information, but all I can seem to find breath for is panting and grunting. I've got an Alien Bounty Hunter-strenghth death grip on the sheets, and I'm bucking harder than Ronnie Strickland's coffin. I feel as out of control as one of those mechanical rodeo broncos you can ride. I wish Scully would saddle-up right now. I really don't want to be selfish and come without her, but I don't think I'm going to have a choice in a minute. I must have stopped paying attention, because suddenly, I'm back inside the heated suction of her mouth. The few working brain cells I have left all ignite at once. Oh... yeah... like that... oh... wait... oh, no... hang on... don't come, don't come... Scu... gotta tell her... don't come, wait... don't want to... don't want... don't... shit. I did. Floating. Floating and drifting. Drifting and floating. What happened to my bones? Oh well. Don't need them. Feels too good being boneless. Wonder if I've got enough synapses firing to keep a hamster alive. Anybody home? Nope. The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead. I hope he died happy. Like me. It takes a while, but I finally manage to crack one eye open. My Scully. She's sitting next to me with this goofy grin on her face that I haven't seen since the Falls At Arcadia -- when she was pretending that my jokes were funny and she didn't want to rip my balls off and stuff them up my nose. This one is a smug grin, but just as wide. I clear my throat and hope my voice actually works. "So, you found this suggestion online, huh?" Scully nods and looks even more smug, if possible. "Just what kinds of sites are you frequenting these days, my dear Scully? Having you been asking Frohike for URLs again?" "He wouldn't be interested in this one, Mulder. It's just got girly stuff, like fashions, and make-up, and how to give better blow jobs. Nothing that would interest guys." Oh, I'm interested, Scully. Especially in looking through your computer's history to see where else you've been. Forewarned is forearmed, you know. Maybe I'll find something I can use to arm myself for a return engagement. All I say is -- "Sorry to go solo on you, Scully. You caught me with my pants down." She smirks. "Or off, as the case may be. Don't worry about it, Mulder. We'll go take a shower and maybe, if you think really hard, you can come up with some way to pay me back later." Then, just as I'm getting ready to roll out of bed and head for the shower, damned if she doesn't open the end table drawer, take out a pen, and check something off on a piece of paper. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE END Feedback: mimic117@yahoo.com Homepage: http://surfacing.com/mimic117/ Do you like what you just read? Feedback is food for famished fanficcers! Smut: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MSR-SMUT/ Non-Explicit: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MSR-Central/ Discussion: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MSR-D/ To Post: @yahoogroups.com Unsubscribe: -unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com List owner: xochiluvr@surfacing.com Do you have a challenge - a story idea you don't want to write yourself? Post it to the discussion list! To post one anonymously, send it to the list owner; they'll be compiled and posted in a single message once a week.